Tag: personal

It’s Been A Long Month So Far

I haven’t posted a thing on the sire since I posted July’s Mish Mash square. While that in itself is not unusual – it has been a busy month for me. Before we really get going let me explain something about myself.

When I was younger my Mom would make me go spend time with her ex (was my step dad at the time) and my Uncle. Being a girl I probably should have been playing with dolls – which I did – but the time I spent with them was when they where working on cars or houses. I was the designated light holder. I was always the type of person to learn by having things explained to me as to what was going on and reading about it. Watching it be done just reinforced what I learned. This being said I was able to rebuild parts in a car (engines, etc) and could repair almost anything non electrical on a house. Over time I was able to do these things on my own but it was hard because of my hands. I’ve had a problem with my hands since I was 15. I kept going until recently. These past few years my hands have prevented me from being industrious (I don’t know if that is the correct word but it’s how I think of it). We have learned that I have Carpel Tunnel Syndrome which is more then likely a side effect of my newly diagnosed Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) according to the neurologist I saw last year. I got medicine for my RA and this past 2 weeks I could be industrious and do something! I was able to replace the kitchen faucet. You might not think this is a big idea but after how I grew up and how I liked to repair my own things this is a huge deal! It made me feel like I was worth something finally after a few years of thinking I was basically worthless. By no means are my hands in any shape to do the amount of work they did before they got really bad but to do something – anything – that I used to be able to do is awesome. Now if my back would stop hurting enough to be comfortable I would be better. My back will never get better from what I have been reading so I try not to think about it.

Most of the month I have been trying to learn how to deal with my back pain. It’s a new pain that won’t go away so I need to learn how to function with it. Some days though I just can’t walk and I have no idea how I even can get out of bed. I have Degenerative Disc Disease. I have gained weight because I can’t do anything most days. And no it’s not because I eat more. Sometimes I force myself to eat as the pain makes me feel nauseous. I eat just enough so my body doesn’t think I am starving it. Starving yourself is not a good thing – your body will stop yourself from shedding fat – just in case you didn’t know that tidbit.

Then we have the upcoming World of Warcraft expansion coming on August 14th. They have announced a simultaneous release around the world so North America gets it August 13th. I have spent the last month getting my toons situated for the xpac. I have decided my death knight Grëtchën & my hunter Ásta will be my ‘mains’. I need one each side as I an bifactional. If they ever let the achievement for number of factions you are exalted with be account wide I would main a hunter on both sides. Grëtchën is exalted with 60 factions and I am not going to go through all that on anyone else. It’s a lot of work and some of those factions I worked on for 10 years off and on. I have achieved 2 things I wanted to this past week as well in game. First after 8 years of running Setthek Halls I finally got the Raven Lord mount. I would literally rage quit some days after running that dungeon on all my toons that could and it wouldn’t drop. It was amazing and I had no idea what to do with myself afterwards. The 2nd thing I accomplished was getting the last class mount. For those who don’t know in Legion each class got a mount that was supposed to represent their class. I decided I needed all 12 class mounts. Last week I finished that. I wanted to get it done before Battle For Azeroth and I did.

I know I haven’t posted about any of my finish objects either since April. Well I think it was April. Either way it’s been awhile. I will do it next month as I plan on posting them on even months. Not much has gotten done either. I have also ordered Herrschners Afghan 8 yarn to finish my 6 baby blanket project I started years ago. I will post about that when it is done. It is somewhat emotional and it has recently occurred to me it no longer matters if it got done. I will get it done though. I am also designing a messenger bag. I have no idea if I will publish the pattern but I have it being written up in case I want to. The next thing ot get published with be August’s Mish Mash square or a 12 inch square I designed in honor of a person I loved as a child. I do have all squares ready for the Mish Mash KCAL. I just need to design the border and it’s done.

It seems I have ended up rambling. The past few days I have been preoccupied with the Cranston Fire in Southern California. Watching to see if it starts coming my way. Where it started was about a half hour away from me up the mountain behind me. I hope it doesn’t come this way as I have never been involved with a fire ever.

Waiting

I’m waiting. Waiting for what? For the previous registrar of my domain to release it to the new registrar. I would like to get things going on the new host. I somehow feel it will be a bit stressful. I have downloaded the XML file so I can upload my site right away. But waiting for the domain to transfer is all that is holding me back.

Anyhow. A few days ago Blizzard released the alpha release for Word of Warcraft Battle For Azeroth (BfA) expansion pack. It has me really worried I won’t get Loremaster done. Nor will I get a warrior to 110. The other night Grace suggested I put a list on my site of what I want to get done before BfA drops. I thought it a good idea. I have no idea how I am going to display the list or where on my site. I’m going to start a list here in this post so I can look back on it.

  • Get a warrior to 110.
  • Get Netherstorm & Icecrown zones done for Loremaster achievement.
  • Get the Rogue class hall & mount done.
  • Get the warrior class hall & mount done.
  • Get first aid to 800 on my draenie hunter Ásta.
  • Get the mining, blacksmithing, jewelcrafting, & inscription professions to 800 on various toons.
  • Finish getting the leather set for 25man (I think heroic) Ulduar raid.
  • Work on Netherwing reputation on my dk Grëtchën.
  • Farm Sha’tari Skygaurd reputation on my dk Grëtchën.
  • Get to exalted with the Nightborne on my dk Grëtchën.
  • Farm claws for the mount in Tanaan Jungle on my dk Grëtchën.

There is a theme with reputation and my dk Grëtchën. She is what I call my ‘rep whore’. She is my ‘main’ and has 43 exalted reputations. Getting exalted with some reputations takes a lot of work and time. I’ve decided she will be the one I work on rep first for each expansion starting in BfA. I was alliance until a few months ago for the Legion expansion and I regretted it completely when I started playing Grëtchën again. It felt wrong not to have the expansions factions not exalted on her.


On a personal note I am a bit stressed. For those that do not know I am on SSI. I got a letter saying I have a phone appointment. I am worried they will think I am well enough to work. I’m not though. I can barely move some days. I just sit here at my desk or lay down on my bed because no matter what I am in so much pain. I can’t sleep because of it so I stay on the pc & try to do something productive. It’s why I have so many level capped toons on WoW. My hands have hurt a lot this winter which is really unusual for me as well. I hope they decide I’m still eligble for SSI. There is no way I can work when I can hardly use my hands or move for that matter. I ignore the pain as much as I can and it makes my numb to everything else. I literally do not feel anything emotionally as a by-product of ignoring my pain. If I even let myself feel I would be a crying mess all the time. I know one day I won’t be able to keep going like this. I am holding out for at least 2 more years before I let things come to the surface. There are a few reasons for that I just dont have the energy to explain. I do know I need to get a power of attorney stuff done before I let it all go. The men children will be the ones responsible for me and it’s not their business nor is it their responsibility. I plan on making my mom my power of attorney. I don’t know how fair that is to her but she knows more about what to do & whats going on with me besdies Heather & Grace. And she lives 10 minutes away. As of right now I am still on pain management. My rheumatologist will not let me have Orencia until I get a shingles vaccine. I am not old enough for one. We are at a stalemate of sorts. if I live until I am 50 I guess I will be able to have orencia then. That is 13 years away though. I personally hope I don’t live that long. I am so tired of the pain. Just tired in general. This life has been shit and I just want to rest.


This turned rather depressing. It’s how I am when I talk about the pain & my illnesses. I’ll leave here with a reminder that the Mish Mash KCAL Hev & I are hosting starts next week! I hope to see some join!